Whether you’re single or not, I think most of us can agree that severe public displays of affection should be made illegal…or something, because nobody needs to see that. It’s cool that you love each other (or whatever) but no one needs to see or hear it. And no, I don’t hate public displays of affection because I’ve been single as hell for two years, and glare at every single happy couple in public, because no, I don’t do that…not unless they’re pretty much having sex in front of me, then that’s when I start to hate them. I like what I had for lunch, so please don’t make me vomit it out. Okay? Keep your tongues to yourselves and your hands where I can see them. Please. For the sake of EVERYBODY.
Oh, and if you’re one of these people, this is actually what I want to do to every person who excessively partakes in public displays of affection.
1. That’s like a bear hug but XXX version.
2. UGH THIS GIVES ME SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE AND I’M NOT EVEN THERE.
3. No one can take a piss in private anymore.
4. RIP Peter.
5. Are they in class? First lesson: STOP.
6. It’s one thing to peck but another to be completely on top of the other person.
7. Too much ass, not enough class.
8. Not sure what she’s looking for. Maybe he forgot to wipe this morning?
9. I like how he’s still texting.
10. No. No. No. You’re old enough to know that this isn’t the right place or the right time for your hand down your wife’s ass.
11. That’s uncomfortable for everyone.
12. PDA on the go, how convenient.
14. Just digging for gold.
15. How is this poor guy going to get his tan on?
16. Even the damn flies need to stop.
17. This girl is committing not one, but two offenses: 1) wearing a Canadian tuxedo 2) allowing her boyfriend to put his hands down her pants.
18. There are kids!! -_-
19. I hope one of them finds out they’re allergic to grass.